My awesome life

Right now my life is pretty great. I spend all day with an adorable little one and I have an amazing husband. There are a few things that I would change of course. Scott has spent way too much of his time during my maternity leave working his hind end off. He was working too hard because he was short people. This weekend it is because of the holiday. Luckily I live close to family, so I was able to spend some time with them while he was away. At first being a mom was really hard and I wasn't sure what in the world I got myself into. Now that Taylor is sleeping a little bit better and doesn't have to be held as much, I am feeling much better. I am starting to get things around the house done and I feel productive for the day. It is still the hardest job I have ever had, but those smiles from Taylor, and the support of my awesome hubby make it worth it. Scott bought me these awesome flowers on Thursday. 

Just because he loves me. I almost cried. It made me feel so good to have a husband who appreciates what I do and still makes sure I feel special and important. (Notice it is a golf bag. I thought that was pretty cool too.) He also was sweet enough to get me a gift card to a spa so I can have some me time for mother's day. That will be a welcom treat when I use it. I am constantly amazed that my love for my husband can still continue to grow. He is such a wonderful man and I am so lucky to have him in my life. Watching him interact with Taylor warms my heart and I savor those moments when it is clear how much he loves his little girl. I couldn't ask for a better family.

I am so grateful that we had Aflac so I could get disability pay so I could stay home for the entire 12 weeks of maternity leave. We would have never survived otherwise. I am also glad we have it to help pay for hospital bills. Altogether with disability and the amounts we received from aflac, we got about 7 times back what we put into the plan. We will keep it for our next child as well.

I am very sad that I have to go back to work in a couple of weeks. I can't stand the idea of being away from Taylor for 10 hours a day. I once again grateful for my mom who will be watching her for the first couple of months. She only lives 10 minutes from work, so at least I can go see Taylor on lunch breaks and not have to instantly be away from her all the time. I know I am a boring mommy blogger right now. I can't help it. Not a lot going going on besides spending time with Taylor.

2 Months Old

I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. Taylor had her two month check up last Monday. She is now 11 lbs 4 oz and 23 1/2 inches long. I am amazed how big she is. Yet sometimes she can still look so tiny. She is a very happy baby. She smiles and coos a lot and loves to lay down on a blanket and kick her legs. i have started putting her in front of a baby Einstein video and she smiles at it and stays quiet through the whole thing. I am guessing she likes it. She does not like tummy time. This morning I put her on her tummy four times and each time she just rolled over. We don't think she is too far from rolling over from her back to her front either. She just can't seem to get the arm underneath her out of the way. That's ok though. We absolutely adore her, and I am already starting to miss some of the things she did when she was a little bit younger. I fear that she is not going to be much of a cuddler because when she is awake and being held, she is pushing up on her legs and moving around a ton. She is always looking around and seems to be afraid she will miss something. I am dreading going back to work. I can't stand the thought of leaving her, and we actually don't have anyone set up to babysit after August. My mom is watching her while she is off work for the summer, but we don't know who will watch her after that. Anyone know someone that will do it for cheap? We seriously haven't even looked. It is hard to know who to trust. I know my mom will love her and take good care of her. I am hesitant to take her to someone I don't know will do the same. Ugh... anyway, hoping to update more about my life soon. But for now, Taylor just woke up and needs to be fed.

Taylor's Newborn Shoot - 4 Weeks Old

My life these days

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth, I am just pretty busy with baby Taylor. If I am not sleeping when she is sleeping, I am trying to get my house in order that is a total disaster. I can't believe she is 7 weeks old already. It is amazing how fast it goes by. I have been mentally blogging for the past few weeks, so here are condensed versions of my mental blogging:

• There is really no way to prepare for being a mom for the first time and it is not easy. I have had a few really bad days and being a mom really is hard. It makes me really grateful for my own mother. Baby Taylor is a relatively good baby, but it is still not easy. I think I was having a really hard time because Scott was working 8 to 3 and then taking a nap and going back from 5:30ish to anytime from 10:30 to midnight. It was really tough having him gone that long. I don't know how single moms do it, because even though Taylor was being good, it was hard to be alone a lot.
• I have never loved my hubby more. He is so cute with Taylor and he loves her to pieces. A couple of weeks ago he asked mentioned how crazy it is that you can love your baby as much as you do in such a short time. You know you are going to love your child, but you don't realize how much. I am constantly amazed how much I love her and how much I love him.
• I went to my first "girl's night" a few weeks ago. My neighbor invited a lot of ladies over and she had some people doing glitter toes. It was only $10 so I got mine done for the first time. It was a lot of fun, and it was nice to have a social night.
• Daytime television sucks. I am watching a lot of re-runs of sitcoms and sometimes there is really nothing on. I have developed a new addiction to cake shows: Ultimate Cake Off, Cake Boss, Amazing Wedding Cakes, Last Cake Standing. I am in awe of the talent of the cake decorators and I love to see the finished product.
• I thought I would have a lot more time than I do. When Taylor is sleeping I am trying to take care of my disaster of a house and take care of myself (shower). I never thought it would take up this much of my time. It can get old to sit on the couch and hold her all day long to feed her or rock her to sleep. I know I really need to get her on a routine, but haven't had a chance to even think about getting her on a schedule. I will figure it out eventually.
• I am not a big fan of parents talking about how amazing their kids are, but I am discovering that every child has some sort of strength that is unique. Taylor's is amazing muscle strength. She was holding up her head from day 1. They brought her in to nurse a few hours after she was born and when I burped her she lifted her head. She turned over from front to back at 6 weeks. She did it twice and then when we tried to record it, she wouldn't do it. She has done it once time since then. It is crazy.
• And finally I love that sweet little girl's smile. She just started smiling recently and when this adorable little girl smiles and coos at you, it makes any frustration of the day well worth it.

Smiling for mommy

I tried to get a month old picture, she wasn't having it.

First day out with mommy after mommy's 6 week check up. She did so well. Slept most of the day.

Just a super cute picture with her little beanie because it was dang cold last Saturday.

More smiles

Our newest addition



Two weeks ago today I went in to the hospital for my biweekly non-stress test because of the preeclampsia signs I had with the pregnancy. My blood pressure had been fine for over a week and I was thinking everything was going to be ok and I wasn't going to have to worry about the preeclampsia anymore. However, during my appt, my first blood pressure reading was a little high so they decided to take it again. They took it a second time and it was still high...the third time it was even worse, the highest yet. They grabbed the doctor over the maternal fetal care area and he came and talked to me about the possibility of delivering. I had been having a pretty persistent headache for days off and on and that paired with the high blood pressure made him lean towards getting the baby delivered for her safety and mine. He called my doctor and discussed it with her and they decided to admit me to labor and delivery and get things started. So, I went from a routine test with the expectations of going to work after, to I am going to have the baby. Of course, this was the first test I went to alone. Scott was at a golf tournament and my mom was working. I was a little stressed out. I was not at all ready to have the baby. I was not dilated or effaced at all. So instead of starting me on pitocin right away they inserted a little pill into my cervix to get thin it out.

They did that around 11 am. Around 9 pm I had made enough progress that they started the pitocin. Once they started the pitocin I was no longer allowed to eat and I had thrown up my dinner so the last thing I kept down was lunch around 12:30 on Friday. I labored all night long and didn't make much progress. I don't remember exactly what time on Saturday they broke my water, but it was in the morning sometime. After that things started moving faster, but still not super fast. I had a fantastic nurse on Saturday and I wanted to deliver before she went home at 6, but not even close.
I don't think I mentioned this or not before, but I had planned on doing a natural child birth. I had gone to hypnobabies classes which were pretty spendy because I was super scared to get an epidural or get any drugs that would affect the baby. Well, pretty much every part of my birth plan went out the window. I was able to have just a hep lock rather than an IV before they started me on the pitocin, as well as being able to eat until the pitocin, but I planned on laboring in the bath tub, not able to do that. I didn't want to get an epidural, but about an hour and a half after they broke my water, I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I was super scared of getting the epidural and I actually cried about getting the epidural rather than from the pain. I just couldn't handle the pain anymore. The contractions were only a minute or so apart and it was just too hard to try and relax when they were right on top of each other. So, I gave in. I go the epidural and I was really glad I did. I still didn't really get any sleep, but I didn't have to deal with the contractions anymore. I went much longer naturally than anyone at the hospital expected. My doctor expected that when they called her Friday night after they started the pitocin that I would have an epidural by then. After I go the epidural I started puking again.
Anyway, it took most of the day on Saturday before I was complete. My doctor didn't come in until 10 pm. At that point, I had a fever from having my water broke for so long and I was starting to get an infection and my baby was transverse...which is why it took so long for me to get complete. She was not ready to come out. We started pushing right around 10 and the doctor tried to get my baby to turn. I pushed and puked for about 45 minutes and my doctor said she was going to let me push for another half hour before we would have to do a cesarean because she wanted to give me as much chance at a vaginal delivery as possible. After pushing for 15 minutes more, I saw my mom ask her if the baby had moved down at all. She hadn't. She hadn't even moved down enough to use forceps. I was done. I told her I was just going to go with the c section. Another thing I really didn't want to do, but I was exhausted I had been in labor for 36 hours with very little sleep and very little food. I couldn't handle it anymore. During the c section I was half asleep because I was just so worn out. The anesthesiologist actually told my mom that the way I was acting wasn't because of the drugs they gave me, it was just pure exhaustion. So after all that, our baby was finally born at 11:50 pm on March 19th. She was 8 lbs even and 19 1/2 inches long. We decided on a name after I was able to nap. Taylor Lynn Morgan. I was just so glad to finally have her here. She is adorable and people keep telling me that she doesn't look like a newborn. I am super biased of course, but I think she is a absolute doll. Luckily, she did not get the infection I got from my water being broke and she didn't even have any problems during the whole thing. Her heart rate only dropped a couple of times towards the end, but prior to that she was really strong and dealt really well with everything. She is a trooper. Here are some of the pictures of her in the hospital and since we brought her home.  I suck at posting pictures...for some reason I can't figure out how to do it how I want it...so sorry.

Just after the c section

Getting cleaned up

 


Skin to skin

In Daddy's arms



Skin to skin





On mommy's tummy


<><><><>

<>

<><><><>

In the bouncer seat



She is such a joy to have in our home. We are already madly in love with her. So far she eats ALOT. It took a while for my milk to come in, and I have been pumping to get it coming in more, but I still don't have enough to feed her. So right now we are breast feeding and formula feeding. We are working on sleeping at night. We have had nights where she doesn't sleep for more than 1/2 hour to and hour at a time and nights where she only wakes up twice. We are trying to figure out the reasons behind that and hoping to have more of the only wake up twice nights. She is really good baby though. She sleeps through noise and doesn't fuss a lot.

Scott has been on vacation this week and it has been great. We have enjoyed spending the week together as a happy little family. He adores his little daughter and it won't be long before she figures out how to get what she wants from daddy. It still amazes us both that we created something so beautiful.



38 Weeks

As of tomorrow I am 38 weeks along. I am trying really hard to have patience, but I am feeling done. I know I am not huge, but people make comments that aren't very nice and I do feel really big and awkward. I have been going to non-stress tests once a week and had to do a much of tests to make sure I don't have preeclampsia because I had high blood pressure at two of my appointments. The last few non-stress tests I have had and my last appt my blood pressure was fine, and my non-stress tests have all looked good for the baby too. So, so far everything is fine, but my doctor told me I should continue to go to the non-stress tests twice a week. It is a lot. I am training someone to take over my position at work while I am on maternity leave and I have appts 3 times a week. The only thing that makes me feel better is that if something does come up that is a problem, they will catch it and it is the most important thing to take care of the baby. So that is what is new with me. Feeling big, awkward, tired and done, but trying to not complain and be patient. I know the baby will come when it is best for her.
Picture updates... I am so bad at pictures, I don't even know how far along I am in each one, but here they are anyway...

This was back in December with my friend Mallorie who was also pregnant, she had her baby March 1st.

I really don't know when this was... Sometime around 30 weeks I am guessing. I should have written it down..

This is at 37 weeks. And please no comments saying how big I am. I am in a normal weight range it makes me sad when people say how big I am.

Baby Shower #2

On the 12th my awesome friend Courtney and my mom threw me my family and friends baby shower. It turned out really good and I got a lot of amazing gifts. My mom made her amazing cinnamon rolls, my sister made a yummy trifle, and Courtney and her sister prepared a bunch of fruit and vegetables at my request. I like fruit and vegetables more than anything right now. I, of course, didn't get any pictures of the shower even though I took my camera. I think my mom got pictures, but I haven't seen any of them. Anywhoo, I got some really cute clothes and loads of diapers and fun stuff. Our baby is going to be so cute in the clothes everyone got for her. It kind of makes me laugh that people got me a lot of things that were not newborn or 0-3 months, but got larger sizes. We have very few newborn or 0-3 months outfits. I have a ton of onesies that are 0-3 thanks to Courtney, but only a couple of sleepers. We may have to get a few things. The only picture I got was of the amazing diaper cake that Courtney made. And it was after I got it back to my house, so it probably wasn't as cute as when she first made it. So there you go.