Goals

Feel free not to read this, it may be VERY boring. At work we were asked to make goals for 2011 as part of our skill classes. Whatever you want to call them. We actually have a “skill day” every year on goal setting, and I am never the biggest fan. Of course I did set a professional goal as asked, but I don’t like setting goals. In my personal life, I rarely (never) sit down and reflect and write up goals. For some reason I feel like putting a goal down on paper is setting myself up for failure. Sure, I have ambition and things I want to accomplish, but I would rather have a firm resolve in my mind than have a written goal for me to look back on and say, oh yeah, I wanted to do that. I especially hate “New Year’s Resolutions.” Making a goal just because it is the thing to do at the beginning of the year is just a waste of time and energy.

Today I started thinking about my goals. Right now in my personal life, I have one: get this baby here, take care of me and baby until she gets here, pick a name for baby, and get everything she needs, and some things I want her to have J. All other goals I had have been put on the back burner while I go through this amazing and miraculous journey of bearing a child. The baby is what I think about most, and all extra energy I have is put into figuring out what I need to do in the next three months to get ready. Frankly, it is overwhelming and I would rather not think about it all, but the end is drawing near.

I think about all the other goals I have set for myself that I have yet to accomplish:

·         Getting my floral business going so I can be a stay at home mom – still in progress…I need more business. I got in debt for an advertisement in a magazine thinking it would pay for itself and it did not…I want to get in a wedding show, but I learned my lesson, I will pay cash, so it will take some time to save up.

·         Get my bachelor’s degree – I don’t know when/if this one will be completed… it will really depend on finances, once again, don’t want to get in debt for it, and we will soon have something much more important to spend money on.

·         Get out of debt. I got a second job to help with this one, but quit when I got pregnant and was too sick to work it. I am on the road to getting out of debt, but it is slow going. This one will be accomplished no matter what. I will be completely debt free in 5 years or less other than mortgage. This is extremely important to me.

Here is what I wonder…Do I not succeed because I am not ambitious enough? Do I settle for mediocre when I should be trying to exceed even my own expectations? Do I let other things or laziness get in the way of what I want? Am I not focused enough and willing to take risks to achieve greatness? I don’t know. My goals are not unattainable. I guess I need to figure out what keeps me from going for it and reaching them…